Alternative Universe
by twilight addict 17
Summary: Leah left for LA after the breakup with Sam. Sam is a werewolf, Leah is not. In LA she met Jacob, she was happy at first but now their realationship is far from that. She is fed up soemtimes. In her dreams she think about wat she and sam could of have.
1. Happy moments

"Jake, stop!" I said laughing. I tried to squirm away from him.

"Put me down!" I cried.

"Never!" he said stepping closer to me, tickling me at my sensitive spots. "Not until you say that I am the sexiest man alive." he said with a grin.

"No! I am not going to feed your inflated ego anymore, than I have to." I shot back playfully.

"Than I am not going to stop tickling you." he said tickling me even harder.

"Fine." I said gasping for air. "You are the sexiest man alive! Happy?"

"Happy enough." he said smiling as he released his arm from me.

"God, you don't play fair." I whined.

"I never do sweetheart." he said smiling.

"God, you are such a kid sometimes." I teased.

"Likewise, Leah." he shot back.

Today is a good day for us. It's been a long time that we been really playful with each other. It's been a while in our relationship that we been really happy.

I reached to push away, the hair that fell to his face. I brushed his cheeks softly. This is the Jacob that I love.

His usual hard eyes, are now soft.

"I love you." I said softly.

"I love you too." he replied.

Today is a good day, until he said the next words.

"Honey, I am sorry to ruin this special moment but I got to meet my buddies at the bar. We made plans to go out tonight. Are you going to be okay on your own?" he asked.

I nodded. I hate it when he goes out. He usually comes home drunk and than we have all sorts of problems.

"Thanks, babe. See you later tonight." he said as he kissed me in the cheeks.

"I love you." I said. "Don't be home too late."

"Love you too, babe." he said. "Today is a good day." he said before he walked out the door to hang out with his buddies.

Yes it was. I thought. Until you decided to go out and drink with your buddies.

I sighed. I walked over to the couch and turned on the TV. I flipped through the channels trying to find one that I would be interested in. But my mind wasn't thinking about TV shows to watch. But instead I am thinking about a lot of other things. I am thinking about my past. It's been three years since I left La Push. It's been three years that Sam, my high school sweetheart had broke up with me for Emily, my cousin. It's been three years ago, that I found out the truth about some of the certain people of my hometown. Some of the people back home have the werewolf genes.

Two and half years ago I met Jacob and started to dating him. I never told him any of my past. It hurt too damn much to tell someone.

I sighed once again. There was nothing on TV that really interest me.

***** seven hours later 12;00 am.

"I am home." Jake drawled out as he stumbled inside the house loudly. He woke me up in an instant.

"Baby, I am back." he singed.

I groaned, as I rubbed my eyes. Here we go again. Another round.

"I miss you." he slurred putting his arms around me.

I shook his hands off. I don't like him drunk.

"I miss you too Jake." I said trying not to wince at his alcohol drenched breath.

Than I saw the hickies on his neck. It was nothing new really. It is definitely not the first time I noticed them.

"Leah." he slurred. "I need you." he said pushing me into the wall and kissed me.

I winced at his breath. This was not the Jake I love. I cant have sex with Jake.

I pushed him away. "No, Jake!" I said. "Not now!"

"Why not?" he demanded. "Why not now? Have you been cheating on me?" he accused his eyes blazing with anger.

"No." I cried. "I never cheated on you! You're the one who's been out cheating on me! I should be the one questioning you! I am not blind Jake! I see hickies on your neck! I know you are cheating on me with those girls."

"Maybe, your not good enough." he said. "Maybe I need more. Maybe I am not satisfied."

Those words hurt me. I held my tears back.

"I am not going to get into it with you." I said. "Not another fight. God damn it, I cant handle it anymore. I am tired, Jacob. Good night." I said walking away.

"Don't walk away from me, you slut!" he screamed.

"Don't call me that!" I yelled. "I am not a slut. And if you think I am than you are a hypocrite. I am not the one going to the bar with my buddies and getting drunk and picking up girls."

He raised his hand and slapped me hard on my cheeks.

My face is burning from the hit.

"Don't talk to me like that!"

"No, you don't talk to me like that!" I shot back

"I hate you!" he shouted.

"I hate you too!" I shouted back walking off tired of all the fights.

**

* * *

**

**(Alterative) **

"**Hey, Leah." Sam said coming home from work. "How's my lovely wife?" **

"**I am good Sam." I said reaching up to kiss him. "How's work?" **

"**Good." he said. "I had a good day today. But I miss my wife." **

"**I missed you too." I said. "You hungry? The roast chicken is almost done." **

"**Sound's good." he said. "I am going to wash upstairs to wash my face." **

"**Sam?" **

"**What?" **

"**Your mom called. She invited us to lunch tomorrow." **

"**Sounds good." he said. "Leah, after dinner, I have a surprise for you." **

**

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**

So, what do you think? Sucess or a failure? Review please. And if it is good, than I will continue. I am really excited about this one.


	2. reflection

**Hey, I want to thank ya'll who commented and add me on ur story alerts, or story faves. I really appreciate it. **

I look at the reflection of myself as soon as I wake up. I sometimes hate the mirror. I see things about myself that I hate. I see who I have become, and I don't like it one bit. I see my life sucked out of me, day by day. I feel so hopeless. I feel so trapped. I hate the fact that by looking in the mirror every morning, I cant escape the truth. By looking into the mirror, I cant hide who I am. I feel like I am dying a slow death. I saw the dark purple, blackish bruises that started to form on my face. I winced at the reflection of myself. I took my comb out and started brushing my long black hair. I looked exactly the same since the day I left La Push, I haven't changed my physical appearance. I was still pretty. I still have the same exotic features. But yet I know I am not the girl that I used to be. I know what changed. If you look closer at my reflection, and if you look at her eyes reflected back you would see the difference. The girl's eyes reflected back at me were no longer full of life as they once were. Her eye was no longer shining with excitement. Her eyes lacked passion and love. Left in place, is her dull brown eyes. She looked like she was tried of life. She looked worn down and confused.

Is this me? Is this what I have become? I sighed. I don't know the answer to anything anymore. It's just questions and a blank open space. I no longer know what I want anymore. I lost all my confidence. I feel like I am loosing a part of myself everyday. What will happen to me? What if I loose who I am completely? What will be left of me?

Jake woke up, and stood beside me. He sighed. He looks horrible. He looked like he got a hangover over the weekend. He rubbed his aching head and went into the medicine cabinet and took two Advil's.

He than once again stood besides me again. He looked at me for a minute without saying anything. We just stood there in silence, looking at each other.

"I am sorry." he said finally breaking the silence. He usually says that after our fights.

As usual, I say the same exact thing. We always do the same thing over and over again, it's a never ending cycle.

"I am sorry too." I said as I reached to open the drawer and took my make up out.

And what the hell was I sorry for? I thought.

"What happened to us?" I asked him. I really, really wanted an answer to that question. "We used to be so perfect, what went wrong with us?"

"I don't know." he said shrugging. " We are still happy sometimes. Yeah, we have problems, but we are like every couple who have problems. I love you, babe. Listen I am late to work. And I got up later than I am suppose to. I got to get dress. When are you going to be home?"

" Around five, I think." I said. "I have a faculty meeting after school today."

"I don't see why you decide to teach those little brats. You could do so much better than that." he said as he is trying to find his trousers.

"Jake, I love my job. I find my purpose in my life when I am teaching them."

"I am just saying babe. You graduated from UCLA in top of your class, you are wasting the degree teaching those high school brats."

It is always like this, Jake talking smack about my job. He always say I can do way better than teaching. He said I could be a bank manger like him, or a top notch lawyer. I really don't want another round of argument. I am really tired of us fighting all the time. I am so tired of the drama.

Jake zipped up his trouser and button up his oxford shirt and put on a black tie.

I started applying foundation on my face to cover the bruises. Just as I was doing that, he started lacing his dress shoes.

"All right, I am off." he said giving my lips an peck. "Love you."

"Love you too." I said. But did I really mean it? Or am I just throwing the words out there?

********

"Okay, class." I said. "Tonight's homework is to read chapter 3.1 and 3.2 and I want a two paragraph summary on what you read."

Than the dismissal bell ring. "Okay, class is dismissed. Have a good one, you guys." I said.

"Bye, Ms. Clearwater." my kids said as they exited the class room.

When they were gone, I sank down on my chair. On my desk, was a framed picture of Jake and me kissing at the park. It was taken a month after we started dating. I smiled at the memory. We were so happy back than. We had no problems than. What happened between now and than?

Just than the door to my classroom opened. I looked up from my desk. It was Ms. Rodgers, a History teacher as well and one of my colleagues.

"I think the meeting is about to start." she said.

"Thanks." I said getting my purse standing up.

"Are you okay?" she asked me concerned.

"I am fine. Just feeling a little sentimental." I said.

********

I got home a half hour before five. The meeting ended sooner than I thought it would.

Good thing too. I get to relax a little bit before Jake comes home.

I got the keys from my purse and turned the key.

As soon as I opened the door, I see something that burned my eyes.

I saw something, that I never want to see in my life again. Seeing it once in the past hurt enough. But seeing it again? No, I cant do it once more. It hurt way too much to go through this again.

"Leah!" Jake shouted as I walked away tears brimming down my face.

"Wait!" he shouted. "This is not you think it is!"

I ignored him, I kept on walking to my car.

I put my keys into the ignition and started the engine.

"Don't drive off!" he shouted. "Look, babe." he started.

I locked the doors, and put my car into gear and drove off.

**

* * *

**

**(Alternative)**

**"Sam, what is it?" I said as I started up the stairs.**

**I walked in to the our bed room and saw Sam in nothing but his boxers.**

**"Sam, what is this?" I started to ask.**

**"Shh." he said shushing me. He put his lips to mines and gently kissed me.**

**"I want to have a baby with you." he said when we break apart a minute later. "I know we only been married for six months. I know we are young, but I cant wait. I told you I would make you Mrs. Sam Uley. And I did. I want to keep all my promises to you. I don't want to break any of them. I want to have a baby with you. I want to have little Sam's and Leah's running around. I want everything with you. I love you."**

**I know in the past, Sam has talked to me about marriage, and having kids one day. But I didn't expect it to be so soon.**

**"Sam, did anyone ever tell you, that you tend to ramble a lot when you are nervous." I said teasing him. "But, don't worry it is a turn on to me when you ramble on and on about stuff. And yes, Sam. I thought maybe I would wait longer, to be a mother. But, I really like the idea of having a child with you. I really want to imagine what our child would be like."**

**He leaned in close and wrapped his arms around me and drew me close to kiss me. "Let's get started, with our first baby."**

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**Review please :) **


	3. break down

I drove around the great city of Los Angeles, for the past two hours venting blasting music as loud as it can go. How could he do this to me? I know he was cheating on me. For god's sake, the signs were there. I am not blind. I know he was sleeping around. The hickies on his neck, the smell of some female's perfume on his clothes were the signs. But all that, I can ignore. I been doing it for a while now. I can always blow off all the signs by saying he was drunk. But not this time. He is not drunk. I can see that as clear as night and day. How can I pretend that didn't happen? It is one thing seeing hickies on his neck. But it is another thing seeing it happen right in front of your eyes. He cheated on me after work with some girl. How can he bring her to our place? How can he have sex with her on the couch where I sit and watch TV? How can he betray me like this? How can he hurt me like this?

I remembered the day three years ago, coming home and seeing the love of my life, Sam doing getting down and dirty with my cousin. Not only was she my cousin, she was like my sister. I fell apart. I never felt so betrayed before in my life.

Than, I vowed to never go through it ever again. Yet, here I am again going through the same pain that bought me over here in the first place.

**********

It was eight when I decided to return home. As soon as I walked inside the house, I see Jacob with beer bottles all over the kitchen table.

Oh god. I cant keep on doing this.

"Leah." he said slurring his words. He walked over to me. More like stumbling towards me. "I can explain this." he said his eyes unfocused.

I winced at his breath.

I counted the bottles that are laid out in the table, in my head.

He is on his sixth bottle.

Shit, he is pretty drunk.

He tried to stand up straight. He leaned on my shoulders to balance himself.

I walk away from him, disgusted. Let him fall down to the ground. I don't care.

He slumped down onto the floor.

He tried to get up. He stumbled to get up. With much difficulty he finally did it.

"Leah! Don't walk away from me!" he said grabbing my arms roughly.

"Don't you have work tomorrow? Isn't it irresponsible of you to drink during a work week?" I snapped, trying to shake loose from his hold on me.

"Why wont you listen to me?" he asked hurt. "I am sorry. You are the only girl I love." he slurred, his words jumbled up together.

"You are drunk. Don't say stuff, you don't mean." I said trying not to cry.

He tried to put his arms around me.

I pulled away from me, and he stumbled again. He held on to the wall.

"Jake, go sit down. No more drinking, Jake. My god, you got work tomorrow. You cant be drinking like this." I said.

I started towards the bathroom and locked the door and sunk down on the floor and cried.

* * *

**(Alternative)**

**"God, Sam." I moaned in ecstasy. "God, this feels so good."**

**Sam's hands started slowly messaging my breasts. My nipples hardened with each touch.**

**God, I need him. I shifted my body, so that I am on top of him. I brought my mouth and rained kisses down those amazing six packs that he have.**

**He groaned.**

**Than my hands traveled down to him, and I reached to take off his boxers.**

**I reached for his length. I started to slowly message him, listening to him moan and egg me on.**

**"Oh god, Leah." he moaned. "You are incredible."**

**"I need you." I breathed. "I need you inside me now!"**

**

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**

**Review and vote all my poll please :) I am thinking of starting another fan fiction. So plz vote :)**


	4. Surprises

"Jake." I said shaking him when I walked by the couch heading towards the kitchen. He was still sleeping, snoring as loud as a walrus. It was seven thirty and if he doesn't get his ass up, he is going to be late to work.

He groaned. "Go away." he mumbled.

"No! Do you know what time it is? It is seven thirty. It's time to get up." I snapped shaking him violently. "Come on, get up."

"Stop being a bitch." he said rolling over turning his face away from me.

"Stop being an asshole." I said. "And get up, Jake or you will be late for work again."

"I am tired, go away." he said burying his face into his pillow.

"That's the lamest comeback I have ever heard. And who's fault is that? You should of known better than to drink on a work week. Work starts in twenty minutes, Jake and if you don't hurry up, you are going to be late."

"I thought you hate me. Why do you care?"

"I care because, I don't want to be homeless and be out in the streets. I want to be able to pay off the rent and the various bills. Duh! So get your ass up!"

And also I care about you. I thought in my head. Even if you are an asshole sometimes.

"My head hurts." he moaned. "I cant go to work today. Just leave me alone, Leah."

"Who decided to drink? Jake, you are an adult. You are responsible for your own actions." I snapped. "You have to go to work. You are the freaking bank manager. You cant just skip work. Plus this during an economic crisis. There are tons of people who wish they have a job. And you have one, so you get your ass up!"

"God, stop bitching." he said. "It's too early in the morning for that. Besides, you sound like my mother."

"Start being responsible than, so I don't need to sound like a mother. " I shot back. "Jake, you been late twice on your job this month. And that doesn't look good. We are pretty tight on money as it is. And with this economic situation you cant afford to do that."

" See, there you go again: nag, nag, and nag. This is what you do most of the time. Go to work, Leah." he said sighing. "Just leave me alone. I really don't want to talk about this right now. I just want to sleep."

" Talk? When do we talk? When was the last time we really talk things through? We argue all the time. It would be nice to talk things out. But no, one of us always end up yelling."

"And look who's talking. You are the one initiating the fight right now."

"I am not the only one. It takes two to tango. It takes two to start a fight. Your just as guilty as I am of it."

"I really need you to go. I need you to back off. I have a freaking hangover, and my head is pounding like crazy. You are driving me crazy."

" Fine." I huffed. "I am going. Just get up. Just so you know I just read the notification from the land lord. He is raising the rent by three hundred dollars."

"Okay, whatever." he said. "Just go away."

"Fine." I said and I took the blankets away from him. "Sometimes I wonder if you even care, about me or anything else."

"What the hell?" he cried. "Give the blankets back!"

"No!" I said walking into the kitchen with them and drape it on the chair.

I grabbed the car keys and my purse and ready to head off to work.

********

"Jake!" I yelled as I walked inside. He was still in his PJ's. "What the hell? Did you bother to even show up to work?"

Jake didn't even look up at me. He kept in his eyes glued on to the television set.

"I called in sick." he said. "Relax. It is all taken care off" he said trying to calm me down. He continued to flip through the channels.

I took the control from the hand and turned the TV off.

"What the hell Leah! I was watching it." he cried. "Give the control back!"

" You were flipping through the channels. So, technically you are not watching it. And no I am not giving it back to you for two reason's. Number one: We have way more important things to talk about and number 2: Why did you miss work, other than the hangover excuse. This is the fourth time already this month. It is not good, especially when you are the freaking bank manager. You are using your years limit already. You only got one more left. It is not going to look good in your job evaluation." I said fighting to stay calm.

"Leah, stop trying to tell me what to do! I moved out of my parents place four years ago for this very reason. And I don't need my girlfriend telling me what to do. You nag like a wife would. And I don't have one. Your not my wife. I don't ever want you to be my wife. I don't need you to fucking nag me all the freaking time!" he yelled.

"Fine, you want to know something. I don't want to be your wife either. Cause if I was your wife, you would drive me crazy. Crazy to the point that I might commit suicide. This constant fighting is tearing us apart. We used to be happy, Jake. What happened to us? What went wrong with us?"

"Fuck, if I know." he said. "Maybe we aren't who we are anymore. We are no longer the same Jake and Leah. Maybe we bring out the worst in each other."

"Than what does this leave us?" I said. "You cheat on me. We argue. We are both unhappy. We can barely keep up with the bills. This is not how I pictured our life to be like."

"So where does this leave us? What do you want to do?" I asked.

Jake shrugged. "I don't know."

* * *

**(Alternative)**

**( two months later)**

**"Sam!" I said when he came home from work. "I have something to tell you."**

**"What is it Leah?" he said taking in my excitement.**

**I took his hands. "I went to the Dr's office today."**

**I saw a trace of worry in his face.**

**"No, it's not bad. It's really good news. I am pregnant."**

**"Are you serous?"**

**I nodded. "We are going to be parents!" I said beaming.**

**He leaned in to give me a passionate kiss. "We are going to be parents! I am going to be a daddy!"**

**"Yes, you are. You are going to be a great daddy." I said smiling.**

**"And you are going to be a great mommy." he said putting his arm around me, pulling me close.**

**This is everything that I dream my life would be like.**

* * *

**Thanks for those who vote on my poll. For those who havnet had the chance or new readers, please vote on the poll. **

**And review please :) **


	5. the forgotten

"I don't know, Leah." he said frustrated. He put his hands over his face and start messaging his temple.

I sighed. I backed off.

Do I really do this to him? Do I hurt him? I feel guilty all of a sudden.

But that soon changed when his phone rang.

"Hello?" he answered.

His eyes lit up momentarily. "Hey." he said cheerfully.

I was immediately suspicious.

It must be the girl. I know it my gut feeling that it was her calling him.

He looked at me nervously. Which sort of confirms things. "I am sort of in a middle of something." he said. "Yeah. Hold on."

Than to me he said. "Listen, you mind giving me a few minutes?"

I looked at him suspiciously.

He looked a little guilty.

"That is a rhetorical question." I said

He walked towards the kitchen to continue the conversation.

He tried to keep his voice down.

But our walls are pretty thin, I can his murmur of his voice.

I move a little closer to the kitchen, and listen closely.

I know it is wrong to eavesdrop, but I have to hear. I have to know what he is saying to her.

I can hear him mumble. "Yeah, she's there. That's why I am trying to lower my voice. That's why it's hard to hear me. And I am sorry. I want to see you, Valarie. I miss you. I really like you. She knows now. But she doesn't know that we been having this affair for months. Are you free tomorrow? " he asked.

He listened for a few seconds. "Oh, that's great. See you tomorrow than at your place. I miss you, Val. I cant wait to see you. Love you." he said softly with so much tenderness in his voice.

I feel my heart tighten. He loved her?

He came out of the kitchen and said "Sorry about that."

"Who was that?" I asked knowing very well, who was calling him.

"Just someone from work." he said not looking at me.

"Right." I said. "I am sure that is someone from work."

I cant believe he has the nerves to stand here and lie to me.

He is starting to disgust me.

"What is that suppose to mean?" he demanded.

Now he has the nerves to be angry at me, when I am suppose to be angry with him.

"You know what I mean." I said.

"No, I don't." he said. "Are you trying to say that I am a liar?"

"Yeah, you can say that, Jake."

"I am not lying to you. It was my boss." he said.

"Sure, whatever it takes to ease your guilt. That is if you even feel guilty." I retorted.

"Jake, do you even know what is tomorrow?" I asked.

He looked confused. "No, I don't. What is tomorrow?"

I wanted to choke him. "Tomorrow is our anniversary. The day we got together. You forgot didn't you?"

He looked at me shocked. "Tomorrow? Wow, Leah- I- I." he was completely speechless."

"Yeah, Jacob Black it is tomorrow. I cant believe you forget something so important. For someone who told me he loved me, you really have a way of showing it. You never loved me did you?" I shouted as I walked out of the apartment slamming the door.

* * *

**(Alternative)**

**( Three months later)**

**"Leah?" Sam said confused. "Did your closet exploded?"**

**"I have nothing to wear!" I said sobbing. "I am fat. I have nothing to wear for this dinner party."**

**"Baby, you are pregnant not fat." he said. "You are going to look beautiful no matter what you wear. You are my pretty girl."**

**"Yeah?" I asked.**

**"Yeah." he said giving me a kiss on my forehead. "I love you."**

**"I love you too." I said. "I am sorry I got a little crazy here. It's the hormones."**

**"I know baby." he said. "I know. I have surprise."**

**"What is it?" I asked.**

**"I called my sister at work today. I called her to help you find something to wear for the dinner party tonight and she agreed. She went shopping all day. She is coming over soon."**

**My eyes lit up. "Really?"**

**He nodded. "I know you, Leah. And I know you might get a little crazy trying to find something to wear. I just didn't know how crazy." he mused.**

**"You know me to well." I said. "I can get really crazy sometimes, I don't know how you handle me."**

**"I love you." he said simply. "That is all there is to it."**

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**Okay, thankyou for those who voted on the poll. The poll is closed, and there is a tie on the votes. So, I decided that I do Cant choose between the two. And the first chapter is up. So check it out please and review!!!! **


	6. Saving me

"Well, hello there." one of the two guys said looking at me up and down with hunger on his face.

The look on their ugly faces, sends shivers up and down my spine.

And it has nothing to do with the weather outside. The weather outside is quite warm and toasty for an late evening in LA.

"Aw, baby are you cold?" he said taunting me. "Do you need me to warm you up?"

"Damn, baby. You got a nice ass." the other guy with him said looking at it with lust on his face.

"I don't mind tapping that." said the first guy agreeing.

"I want to tap her first." the second guy said.

"I saw her first." the first one said.

He tried to put his filthy hands around me. "Let me warm you up, baby."

I moved away from him quickly.

"Aw, baby don't be like that." the guy said.

I walked away from him disgusted.

They both followed me.

Oh god.

I started to take off in a run.

They followed in pursuit.

It didn't take long for them to catch up to me. They grabbed my wrists roughly and yanked me towards the wall.

Oh shit.

They were both angry. "Hey, bitch you didn't have to run away." The first guy said.

"What do you want?" I asked. "If you want money, take my purse." I said my voice unsteady. "But, please leave me alone."

"We don't want your cash, slut. We want your body." the second guy said smirking.

"Leave me alone please." I begged. "I have a boyfriend."

"Like that matters." the first guy scoffed. "We like what we see. It's your fault really, for looking so damn good. Maybe if you didn't wear that red shirt that shows off your curves, or those pants that hugs your delicious booty. Than maybe we would of left you alone."

The first guy leaned on top of me on the brick wall and started to unbutton my top.

"No!" I said.

He ignored me. He kept on unbuttoning my top. He took a deep breath when he see my black lacy bra.

"NO! please stop!" I begged as tears trailed down my cheeks.

He reached in to kiss me. I struggled to pull away from him and that disgusting mouth.

He kissed me even rougher.

I tried hitting him. But it was no use. I am no match for him.

"Stop!" I shouted. "Get your disgusting mouth off me." I said squirming.

He tighten his grip on me even tighter. The more I struggled, the more it hurt.

"She said stop!" a new voice said full of authority.

I looked up and saw him through my tears. I gasped. It cant be. I have to be dreaming. It cant be him.

"What makes you think I am going to stop!" the first guy said running his fingers through my naked stomach. His hands stop in front of my breasts and linger there.

"Get your disgusting hands off her!" my savior said menacingly his eyes turning an even darker shade of black.

He looked really scary.

Scarier than I ever seen them.

" And if you don't, something will happen to you, that you don't even want to think about. So if I were you, I would let go of her."

The guy let go of my arms. He took a step back.

He looked a little scared and intimidated. "Let's go." he said to the second guy.

"But." the second guy started.

"Look man, the guy is huge. Let's go man."

The second guy took one last look at the new guy and nodded.

They both took off running.

I watched as they ran off. I started to button up my shirt again.

I tried to fight off more tears.

I turned to face the guy who saved my life. "Thank you." I said.

"It's something I had to do." he said. "I saw what they were doing. Those guys are sick, they came close to raping you."

"I know." I whispered. I cant stop looking at him. "I miss you."

* * *

**(alternative)**

**( six months later)**

**"Here's your baby girl, Leah." the nurse said handing me my beautiful daughter.**

**"Welcome to this world, Azusena Rae Uley." I said.**

**"Look at our beautiful daughter." Sam said. "She has your beautiful eyes." He leaned in down and kissed our sleeping daughter.**

**"I think she looks more like you. She has your nose, and chin and lips." I said.**

**"God, she is beautiful like you." he said not being able to take his eyes of his miracle.**

**"I know." I whispered. "I cant believe that she's ours."**

* * *

The baby name Azusena means Lily in Arabic and according the the baby name website, it is an unique name since not a lot of people have the name. And I think Leah and sam deserve a baby with such a uninique name.

And review please. You shall find out who saved Leah on the next chapter.


	7. missing you

"I really miss you, Sam." I said without thinking, reaching over to him to hug him, needing him in my arms.

I can feel my body tingle as we make contact. I can feel the electricity pulse through my arms and body. There was no denying it. There was still this attraction.

Instead of pushing me away, he let me hold on to him. At first he was stiff, than he began to relax. He held me closer to him. And we stayed like this for a while, as the world passed us by.

"I miss this." I whispered breaking our comfortable silence. I looked up at him. "I miss this so much. I really miss you."

He nodded. "I miss it too. I miss you too. It's been a really long time since I seen you. I missed you everyday." he said taking a whiff of my hair. "Your hair still smells like warm vanilla." he added.

"Yeah, it's my favorite shampoo." I said. I hadn't used it in a while. I only use it this morning because my jasmine shampoo ran out.

I looked at Sam closely. This man is breath taking. I denied my feelings for him for so long. The truth is plain and simple, I still love this man. How did I go three years lying to myself? How did I go three years without him? Love didn't hold anything to me without him.

Sam met my gaze. We stared into each others soul, it was like everything in this world disappeared. It was like we are suspended in time. We are the only two people, the only two people that mattered in this world.

I looked at his mouth and licked my lips desire going through me. I didn't dear act upon it.

He must have been thinking up the same thing, he leaned forward and placed his warm hot lips on top of mines and slowly kissed me.

He is kissing me slowly and softly. It was so different from Jake's kisses, which is rough and aggressive. This one is full of passion and love.

I groan softly. I kissed him back with all the hidden passion that I have kept on the inside for three years. There was no denying it. I still love him.

"Leah?" A voice said interrupting us. Or should I say a male voice. A very familiar male voice.

I didn't have to turn around. I know who it was.

Uh oh. I am in big trouble.

* * *

**(alternative)**

**3 am.**

**I sighed as Azusena cried again. I love her and everything but I am just so exhausted. This was the fourth time she woke us up. This time it was my turn to feed her/ change her/ whatever she needed.**

**"Azusena, mommy's here." I whispered. "Don't cry, mommy's here to save the day."**

**I picked my crying daughter from her crib. It was there I smell the odor.**

**I groaned. "Don't worry, Mommy's going to get you out of those smelly diapers in no time. And you are going to get some sleep."**

* * *

**here it is another chapter. Yes, Sam is finally here in town. But why is he here in town? ANd who is that man? You shall find out. More drama coming up your way!!!!! Review!!!!!!!**


	8. secrets dont always stay buried

I cant believe it. It's him. The voice I want to forget. The voice that created nightmares for me for years. The nightmare that no one can ever help me over come. Not that anyone knows. It is after all a secret that I spend seven years covering up. No one can find out. Especially not Sam. Or even Jake for the matter. I vowed that no one will find out about my past. I tried to walk away. I didn't want to see him again. I never want to look at his face ever again for as long as I shall live. I promised that the day that I met Sam, that I will never be that girl again. Because Sam changed me. Sam made me a better person.

I was young and naïve back in middle school. I was foolish, and was willing to do anything he said. Not now. Not anymore. I once admired him, now I despise him. We were once friends, even boyfriend and girlfriend but now we are nothing. That's the way it should be. At one point in my life, I only see only one choice in my life. It was him. I only saw one future, one path way. I only knew destruction than. I knew now I was wrong. There was choices, there was more to life than that. My eyes opened when I met Sam. I was once blind, but now I see the light. There's no way, this guy will bring me back to the darkness.

"Leah." he said. I know he was smiling his sick little smile. I just knew. I know him pretty well. He haven't changed one bit. I know what he is like. He is what I was like before I moved to La Push my freshman year. We were one in the same. We were the splitting personalities of each other. He is the part of my past that I don't want to open the doors again.

"Come on now." he said in a mocking voice. "Are you still holding a grudge for what happened. It was so silly." he said.

He tried to get me to turn around. I wouldn't budge. I refuse to look at him. I don't want to be reminded on what I used to be. I refuse to go through the emotions again. I spend seven years running away from my past, he is not going to ruin it for me. He is not going to spill my secrets. I hated that part of myself. Being with Royce King reminds me of who I was. That girl died, the day I met Sam. That girl is gone. I don't need Royce here to bring back the memories. Why cant my past be buried forever?

Fine I will speak to him. I will give him this much. But I will not face him. I will not give him the satiation of looking at him.

"What you and I had are over. It has been for a very long time." I said gritting my teeth. "What we did, was stupid. What we done was a mistake. A mistake that has to stay buried. We both agree on that. "

"Leah, what is going on?" Sam asked me. "What are you talking about?"

"Sam, it's nothing. Let's go." I said. I wont get him involved. I wont let him find out about the terrible mistake I made.

"Leah, why don't you introduce us to your new boyfriend. Why don't you turn around and face me, Leah. Don't be a coward." he said mocking me.

I bit my lips. I hate Royce King so much. With no choice I turned my back around.

I flinched as I saw his face. He looked so different from when I last saw him. But he was still the same old Royce. Images of the past flashes before my eyes. Flash backs of us laughing, and talking and kissing. Images of us smoking and drinking, and being reckless. Than the images of that day came back to me. The nightmare that haunts me.

"Royce." I whispered leaning forward to his ear. "What are you doing here? You need to stay away from me. I don't want to see you. What we don't stays buried. We take this secret to the graveyard."

"We need to talk." he whispered back, his warm breath tickling my skin. I flinched.

"No, Royce." I said. "I don't want to get involved with you again. Never again, Royce."

"He doesn't know does he?" Royce whispered with a smirk on his face. "Boy is he going to be surprise when he finds the kind of secret's his little Leah been keeping." he taunted.

"Royce, you wouldn't dare." I cried.

"I would and you know it."

I leaned closer to him. "If you are bringing me down, I am taking you with me. You know me. You know I am capable of it. Remember seventh grade with Katie Finch. Remember what happened when she tried to mess with me? Back to my point, if you try to get even with me, it's not going to work. I am not going down without a fight. And you are just as involved in it as I was that night. You had a part of it remember?" I said whispering furiously.

"You are the same old Leah." he said not bothering to whisper now. "Your just don't play fair do you? You never do."

"Shut up, Royce." I said. "You don't know what you are talking about." I took Sam's arm and took him away.

* * *

**(Alternative)**

**I woke up around eight in the morning on Sunday, tired as hell. Being a mother is so tiring. I woke up non stop attending to my daughter. I looked over to my other side of the bed and saw that Sam's gone.**

**Where did he went of too? I wondered. I figured he would use the time to catch up on sleep. Lord knows I need it, but I got my daughter to attend to.**

**But it didn't take long for me to figured it out where my husband was.**

**I heard Sam's voice coming from the nursery room.**

**I smiled. I got out of bed and put my bathrobe around me and walked towards the two most important people in this world.**

**I watched at the doorway as made baby noises making my daughter laugh.**

**It is truly a heartwarming moment.**

**Sam looked up and saw me. "Hey, honey. Did I woke you up?"**

**"No." I said. "You didn't woke me up."**

**"Hey, beautiful girl. Say hello to mommy." Sam cooed.**

**I walked over to her, and took her from Sam's arms. "Morning my little angel." I said caressing her soft cheeks.**

**"What are you doing up? I figured that I would go get up and feed her and change her, so that I can give you a few extra hours of sleep."**

**"Honey, that's sweet of you." I said smiling. "But I was worried, that she would be hungry, and that I need to make you breakfast."**

**"I feed her, Leah." Sam said. "And I can make my own breakfast. I think you should go back to sleep. You look tired. You need rest."**

**"Oh really?" I asked. "The last time you attempt to cook you burned everything. And we had the horrible smell in the house for days. I love you, but you cant cook to save your life."**

**"Oh that hurts, Leah." he said putting his hands over his chest.**

**I watched as Azusena yawned. It was amazing how we managed to create such a miracle.**

**

* * *

****I surprised you did I? lol. I know most of you think it was Jake, heck even I would think it would of been Jake. But you know me, that would be to prediactable wouldent it? There we have it Leah have a horrible secrect she been keeping. And what is going to happen with her and Jake??? What will happen? Read to find out. **


	9. are you Jealous?

"Leah, what is that about?" Sam asked putting his grip on me, to stop me.

"Sam, it's nothing okay!" I said frustrated trying to get loose from his grip.

"No, it's not nothing. There's something going on here. I can sense the tension between you two." he said holding my arms tighter.

"Look, Sam. Just drop it. It has nothing to do with you. It's just nothing okay?" I said taking a deep breath, again trying to get away from his hold on me.

"Leah, are you in trouble?" he asked determined to not letting me go.

"No!" I cried. "I am not in trouble!"

"Your lying. Remember, I know you very well. I know when you are lying to me. You cant fool me." he said.

"Why does everybody think they know me?" I asked frustrated. "Everybody thinks they know me very well. Well guess what? They don't know me as well as they think they do."

I am in a very foul mood.

"Are you in trouble, Leah?" Sam asked again holding my gaze.

Oh Jesus Christ. Why wont this man let it go?

"Leah." he said. "Do owe him money or something?"

"Sam." I begged. "Please just let it go." I said as I pushed his arm's off me.

"Leah, please tell me what's going on." he begged. "Don't shut me out."

My foul mood just got worse.

"You're the one to talk, Sam!" I yelled.

Gosh, what a hypocrite.

"You shut me out too, remember? If I remember correctly three years ago, you threw away everything we had together so you could be with my cousin. You shut me out, Sam! I was so hurt. It killed me that you would go throw what we had so that you can have this fling with her. I hope it was worth it! If I am shutting you out now, than it serves you right."

"Leah." he said. "I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you. But don't shut me out. Are you in danger?"

"No, Sam I am not in danger." I said. "I am okay. You don't need to worry about me. I am not yours anymore. You don't need worry about poor old Leah. I don't need your pity, Sam. I can take care of myself. I have a man anyways. And he takes care of me just fine." I said lying about the last part about him taking care of me.

"Lee, how can you say that? I am not pitying you. I care for you. I always will. You know I do Lee-lee. For as long as I am here in this world, I will always have this need and desire to take care of you."

"Sam, I know you care. You have an imprint. Her name is Emily. You pledge to take care of her. Isn't that part of the whole deal? You made your choice to leave me for her. I don't need you to worry about me, or for you to take care of me. I am doing fine. I got through college, and now I have an amazing job. I have a boyfriend. I have a place to live. I don't need you to worry about me. I am grateful that you saved me from that creep. But please don't spend your time worrying about me. And that guy who showed up is my ex boyfriend before you. I can handle him. I am not in danger. I can handle myself." I said rambling.

"So this current boyfriend are you serious about him?" Sam asked expressionless.

"Yes. We been together for two and half years. In fact today is our anniversary. So yea, we are pretty serious." I said. The anniversary he forgot. I thought sadly. The anniversary that he wanted to go out and have an affair with another woman. It was suppose to be a happy day.

I wonder what he is doing now? I have three probabilities on what he might be doing. A: Go out and get wasted, like he always do when there is a problem. B: In the apartment drinking his sorrow away, waiting for me. Or C, go to that slut's place and have sex. Take your pick, it is one of those three possibilities. Sober is not one of them right now. I know him. It was the same thing I do when I was with Royce. I drink away my problems, the same way he did. I just don't drink nearly as much as Jake does. But I been sober the day that I messed up. I promised myself if I can keep my horrible secret hidden, my bargain is that I would never drink again. So far I kept the end of my bargain. That is if Royce don't rat me out.

"Oh." he said. "Do you plan on marrying him?" he asked.

I looked at him. Why is he asking me these things?

"He never asked me to be his wife." I said carefully. To be truthful, I never really thought about it. I only dream of being one person's wife. And that person is standing right in front of me. And that man is married to my cousin.

"Do you want to be his wife?" he asked.

"Okay, what is up with the questions?" I asked warily.

"I want to know, Lee." he said. "I am just wondering. So do you want to be his wife?"

Do I want to be his wife?

A long time ago, if he asked me this, I would of immediately said yes. But now with all the problems, the last thing I want is marriage. I love Jake. Well most of the time. I love him when things are good between us. So do I want to marry him? Right now, no. But Sam don't need to know that. Sam don't need to know about my problems with my boyfriend. After all he got his perfect wife waiting for him when he gets home anyways. Speaking of why is he here?

"Yes." I said. "If he proposed I would say yes. And by the way why are you here in LA?" I asked.

"I am here on a business trip." he said.

"Oh." I said. "Emily must be lonely."

"It's just a few days. Plus she has Carrie- Ann to keep her occupied."

"Carrie- Ann?" I asked.

"Yes, she's our daughter."

"Oh." I said my heart shattering. Hearing for the first time he was getting married to Emily hurt like hell. But that was a while back. But hearing he had and daughter with her hurts even more. Especially when he is standing right in front of me when he told me this new information.

I am jealous. I wish more than everything in this world that I could be the one he called wife. I wish it was me that he had kids with. I wish it was me he imprinted on.

I am so jealous that I am not thinking straight. I saw Jake walking out of the bar across the street. He was stumbling.

Oh great. He's drunk again.

Than the idea struck me.

This is as good as any time to introduce my boyfriend to Sam. I will show him that I moved on.

"Jake!" I called crossing the street.

Sam followed me.

"Leah!" Jake said slurring.

"Hey, baby." I said when I reached him.

"I miss you baby" he said tears streaming down his face.

I felt bad, as angry I am with him. Sometimes drunk Jake is so vulnerable like a child and my anger just fades away. And my need for taking care of Jake takes over.

"Hush, baby." I said gently. "I know."

He leaned in and kissed me drunkenly. "I- I do- d-don't want to fight with you." he whispered in my ears.

I almost couldn't understand him. Gee, how much did he had for drinks? I wondered.

"I know, honey." I said soothingly like a mother would do for a scared child.

"I am s-s-ory." he stumbled again.

" Baby, not now. Save your strength. You need it. Come on baby, there's someone I want you to meet. Jake honey, this is Sam Uley." I said pointing to him.

"Hi, Sammy! This is my girlfriend Leah! Don't you think she's pretty?" Jake slurred stumbling a little bit once again. I take my hand out to stable him.

"Baby, careful. How much did you have?" I asked.

"Five shots!" he said proudly.

"Hon, that is way too much. That's more than you ever drink before" I said leaning to kiss him in the lips. "But it means I will take care of my baby as always."

"I love you, angel." he said. I smiled. Angel is his nick name for me. He calls me Angel because he said I was pretty and perfect like one. It has been a while since he called me Angel.

"I love you too." I said. This is probably one of the better days since the day we were tickling each other the other day. Than to Sam I said. "This is my boyfriend I been telling you about."

"Oh." is all he said.

Jake stumbled again.

"Jake, honey." I said stabilizing him again. "I got you. Come on we need to go home. All right good seeing you again, Sam. Have a good life." I said to him.

"Leah." he said grabbling my arm. "Why are you with him?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He's not the guy for you."

* * *

**(alternative)  
( two months later five in the evening)**

**"Leah?" Sam said as he walked in to the living room. "What's wrong?"**

**"Seth is going to marry that bitch, Kim." I said. "He knows I cant stand that gold digger. I cant believe he is going to marry her. She is going to be my sister in law!"**

**"Baby, keep your voice down or you are going to wake Azusena up."**

**"Sorry." I said sheepishly. "I cant stand her, Sam." I said lowering my voice in a few decibels.**

**"I know, honey." Sam said rubbing my back.**

**"We got to stop it. That bitch want nothing but my brother's money. I wont let my brother get hurt."**

* * *

**Well here we have it. Leah is mad and is trying to show Sam she moved on. And on the alterantive she is trying to stop her brother's wedding to Kim. All I can say is More drama on the way. Review please. I will update when I got the time. **


	10. it's not easy

"Sam, you cant be saying this to me. It's not fair." I said. "You don't got that right anymore."

"He's not the guy for you, Lee-lee." Sam said softly. "He's not the right guy. He's all wrong for you."

"Don't." I said angrily walking away with Jake's hand in mine. "Don't say stuff like that. You cant do this. You cant just come back after three years and say this sort of shit to me. You walked away from me. Don't come back here feeding me these bull shit lines."

"But this guy?" Sam shouted. "He's no good for you! He cant take care of you!"

"He takes care of me. He loves me, unlike you. And why do you care? You have Emily. Go home to your slut of an imprint! Go home to your child! Go home to the family that I always wanted with you! You broke my dreams once already Sam. I would be a damn fool if I let you hurt me twice. Go home to her. Just leave me alone." I said.

I watched as Sam's face crumbled.

I immediately felt bad. "I am sorry." I whispered. "But you cant just say something like this."

I felt Jake stumbling again. I grabbed his arms to keep him from falling flat on his ass.

"Come on, Jake." I said sighing. "Let's go home and get some rest."

**********

(next day)

"I am sorry." Jake said when we were sitting in the table at breakfast. "I cant go to work today again."

I sighed as I spoon my cereal to my mouth.

"I know I mess up." he said before I can say anything. "I know I screw up. I am sorry for everything. I know lately I been screwing up like every other minute. I know I made a ton of mistakes. But no matter what, I love you."

"I love you too." I said. "I do love you, Jake. But, we have a lot of problems we need to discuss. We have too much drama between us. One day we are good, and the next we are fighting. This drama is driving me crazy. One minute we are a loving couple, and then the next we are the couple that we don't want to be. We changed, Jake."

"What are you saying, Leah?" Jake said.

"I am saying that we need to work out our problems. I am suggesting couple's counseling. It will be worth the cost if we can work it out."

"Hell no Leah!" Jake said. "I am not going to some shrink's office to talk. It's a waste of money. And you said so yourself that we are tight on money."

"Yes, we are sort of in some financial trouble, but it is worth it if we can work our relationship out. I am willing to do it. I want it to work. I don't want us to fight. We used to be happy. I want that happiness between us back."

"Leah, we don't need some counselor telling us what to do." Jake insisted. "we don't need to pay some shrink $100 a hours. It's a fucking waste."

"Why are you so against it?" I said. "I just want us to work out. So if you don't want a shrink, than what do you want to do than?"

"I don't know. We can talk. We can do anything, but going to a shrink is not what we need."

"Whatever, Jake." I said rising from the table. "I don't want another fight with you. I am going to work. Please, don't drink again. You need to go to work tomorrow."

* * *

**( alternative)**

**"Honey." Sam said trying to calm me down. "Baby, let's be rational here. Your brother is happy with Kim. I agree, that Kim strikes me a bit of a gold digger, but he is happy with her. And you don't want upset your brother."**

**"I don't." I said. "But it's Kim. How can he marry her? I cant stand her. Either can mom. I don't know what in the world Seth was thinking when he proposed to her."**

**"I know you don't like it, Lee-lee. But, you cant do this to Seth."**

**"There are so many girls out there for him, I don't know what he see's in that bitch." I said seething.**

**"Honey." Sam said again. "Calm down."**

**"I am going to stop them. There is no way in hell that those two are getting married. I wont allow it. I am going to see that gold digging bitch that will do nothing but hurt my brother in the end."**

**"Leah-" Sam started.**

**"Sam, please stop it. I know I may sound harsh. But, it's Seth. He's my little brother. You know I am protective of him. I don't want this girl to destroy his innocence."**

**"I know, Leah." Sam said. "But what did you say to Seth after he told you."**

**"I sort of yelled at him." I said. "I went off on him."**

* * *

**So what do you think? Like it? Hate it? Review please!!!!!**


	11. lighting the fire

"You cant be serious?" I asked shocked. "What do you mean I am being laid off? I didn't got the pink slip."

"I am sorry, the governor proposed more cuts to education in this state. The bill got passed by the legislature. It is proposing to cut even more from education. And in order to facilitate with the recent budget cuts, we need to lay off more teachers and staff. The twenty five we already laid off before this year, is not enough. So as of next month you are laid off. I am sorry, Leah. But it has to be this way. And the other teachers that are still here are having furlough Fridays. Everyone is suffering in this tough economic crisis, especially here in California."

"But Ms. James there are only three history teachers in this school. And if you lay off me, class sizes are going to be huge."

"I know, Leah." she said. "But unfortunately we need to lay off another fifty teachers. We need to lay off some janitors, some cafeteria workers and cancel some of the clubs here on campus. The board is pressuring me, to do so. And I need to let them know who we are letting go."

"I need this job." I said. "My rent has been raised. My bills are rising. I need this job. If I loose this job, my boyfriend and I might not make it."

"I know, these are hard times. Everyone is going through difficult times. I have two kids to put through college. This school is starting to fall apart. We have nothing for this school. The math department needs money for new books and calculators. The English department need money for their reading program. The science department want funding for research. Look at the dilemma I have. Those are the departments that we need. We are cutting art, music and theater and dance as it is. Look at our lunches. It's as bad as it can get. We simply have no money. I don't know how the governor can expect us to educate kids with these conditions." she said.

She took her glasses off and rub her eyes. "I even agree to take and ten percent paycheck cut. But simply, with the lack of a budget, we need to cut a lot of things. I really regret this. We used to be a different school. I regret loosing you, Leah. You are a wonderful teacher. But unfortunately we have to let you go."

***************************

When I unlock the door to the apartment I closed the door with a loud BAM.

"What is up with you today? Why are you so pissed?" Jake asked looking up from the TV screen.

"I am got laid off." I said bitterly. "Life's unfair."

"What? Why? What happen?" Jake asked shocked. "Why are you laid off?"

"Budget cuts proposed by the stupid governor who cant even speak proper English. The genius thinks cutting money from education is the way to go."

" Oh. When do you get laid off?"

"A month from now. Which means I have to search for a new position."

"Well, sorry you got laid off, but it is a good thing, you can find a better job now. You got an UCLA degree, you should make good use of it. I mean you graduated top of your class not only that a year early too."

"Jake, I love teaching." I said. "And we been over this. I don't want to fight about this."

"Okay, your right I am sorry. But I am just saying baby. I don't get why you like your job so much. There's so much more you can do with your degree than teach those high school brats. That's just my opinion."

"Okay, Jake enough." I said. "I am not in a good mood and I don't want you dissing my job."

"I am sorry." he said. He leaned in to kiss me.

"Yeah, I know." I said. "See this is why you cant miss work anymore. We need your pay check."

"There's something else, that I need to tell you, Leah."

"What?"

"The landlord stopped by today. He raising the rent again."

"What? He just raised it coupled days ago!"

"I know. He is raising it by another two hundred dollars. Here's the letter."

"Shit, shit. Shit. " I muttered. "What the fuck are we going to do?"

* * *

**(alternative) **

**"Seth." I said when he answered the phone.**

**"Leah." he said. **

**"Seth, I don't want you to marry Kim." I said. **

**"I know. You said it in a not so nice way when I told you we were engaged. I cant believe that you wont be happy for me." **

**"Seth, is not that I don't want you to be happy. Because I do. I don't think you would be happy with her. She is not in love with you. She is in love with your money. There's a difference." **

**"I think you are just jealous. I love Kim and she loves me. We are going to get married. I just wish I had a sister that supports me." **

**"Seth, think about it. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with Kim? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with that gold digging bitch! She is going to do nothing but corrupt you!" **

**"Okay, Leah this is enough. I love Kim, just like you love Sam. We are in love, just like you are with your husband. I was there for you, I just hope you are here for me." **

**"That's because Sam and I belong together. But you and Kim don't go together. It is like oil and water." **

**"Fine, don't support me!" Seth said frustrated. "Don't go to my wedding! I don't care. You are so selfish!" he shouted before slamming the phone down.**

* * *

**So what do you think? Review!!!!!!!!! **


	12. bad dreams

I tossed and turned for hours unable to fall asleep. Jake had no problem, however. He fell into a quiet slumber not long after the lights were off. I am too worried about our financial situation to sleep. Slowly and quietly I got out of bed, and grabbed the letter from the landlord, that was sitting on the desk.

I went to the kitchen and sat down with a glass of water and read the letter over and over again, until my eyes started to hurt from reading. What am I going to do? It's the not just the rent and the bills, I had to pay off, but my student loans too. God. What am I going to do? What the hell are we going to do, if we get evicted? With the things that are going between me and Jake, there's a fear that Jake will leave me. After all he would still have his job, even though he wastes his money on foolish things or the fact he would push his responsibilities aside. But he would still have his job. The company loves him, despite the fact he doesn't show up to work sometimes. After all there is the other woman. Would he really leave me if things get too bad? Once upon a time, I would of said no, of course not. But now, I am not so sure. Jake and I changed. Of course I love him in a way. But it's just not the same. It's just not the way we used to love each other. I don't think he loves me enough to stay because I have nothing left to offer him. I have give him everything I can to a guy once again, who is going to break my heart again. Finally around two in the morning, I passed out from exhaustion.

__

"Royce!" I screamed. "Oh my god!" I said as I slammed the breaks on Royce's brothers car, that we sneaked out. It was my idea in the first place. Now I regret it.

"Oh my god!" I screamed as I put my car on park. "I think I killed her!"

We hurried out pf the car and walked a good twelve feet to reach her body. He reached down to her.

"Oh Jesus, Leah. It's Nessie." Royce said examining the body. "She has no pulse. You killed her. Look at her body. No body can survive that. You were going like 75 mph. When the Cullen's find out they are going to be pissed."

"Gee thanks, Einstein." I snapped distressed. "Why don't you help me decide what to do next?"

"I don't know, Leah." he said.

I look around. We are alone. I sighed. I never thought I would be at this position at twelve years of age.

"We can dump the body." Royce said.

I turned to look at him.

"I don't have anything else. You got any other ideas? he said. "If we don't dump her body and get rid of the evidence, we would be charged for murderer and I can go down as the accomplice. They would find the drugs in our system. Do you want to go jail for life?"

"No." I said. "But."

"No one has to know. No one is here. No one will ever have to find out." Royce said.

"Only if you don't tell." I said agreeing. "We cant ever tell anyone what happened down here."

"I promise." Royce said. "I am not telling anyone, what went on down here. I am much as involved as you."

"Good." I said relieved. "Let's get rid of her body." I said quickly before I rethink the whole thing.

Royce and I both bent down to pick up Nessie's body. "She is pretty light." I commented.

We dropped her down the river that connects from Oregon to California. "I am sorry, Nessie." I said to her as she fell down the water making a splash. She sunk to the bottom of the pool, buried forever.

Royce wrapped his arms around me. "It's over." he said reassuring me. I buried my face on his jacket.

"I hope so."

"Come on." he said. "We will have to make sure we didn't leave anything behind that can link her to us."

"They wont." I said. "They are not going to think two twelve year olds would murderer that girl."

"Wouldn't hurt to look." he said looking around.

"Yeah."

"Okay, let's go. I'm gonna drive. I am a much better driver than you." he said a few minutes later.

"Psych." I said.

"Okay, I am not that great." he admitted. "I am an armature like you. But you already got us in to an accident we don't need one more."

"True." I sighed. "Just be careful." I said. "We don't need your brother freaking out about his car."

Royce dropped me off. I sneaked up to my room passing my mom's room.

When I opened the light in my room, I see blood on the wall. 'Murderer.' it wrote.

I screamed.

'I know what you did.' it spilled out.

I screamed again.

"Leah?" some shouted.

It was my mom.

"Leah? What's wrong?"

"There's blood on the wall!" I shouted.

"What blood?" Mom asked. "Honey, it was all a dream."

"What?" I asked sitting up looking at the wall. It was gone.

Than as soon as my mom walked out of the room, the blood started flowing again.

'I know what you did. You know what you saw.'

I put my hands over my face and screamed.

"Leah!" Some one said shaking me.

"Go away. Leave me alone." I said sobbing.

"Leah! Come on wake up!"

I opened my eyes. It was Jake. Thank god. It was a dream. It was all a dream. It been so long that I had a nightmare about that fateful night

"You okay?" Jake asked.

"Yeah I am fine." I said. "I am fine. I just had a nightmare."

"Why are you in the kitchen table?"

"I couldn't sleep." I said. "What time is it?"

"Six." he answered.

I groaned. I got up and went to the bathroom for a much needed shower.

* * *

(Alterative)

"He called me selfish can you believe it?" I asked Sam.

"Honey." Sam started.

"Oh my god! You think I am selfish too." I exclaimed.

"Honey, no." Sam said. "I don't think you are selfish. You are just being honest with your brother. You are just watching out for him. I know you don't like her, but why don't we step off."

"Sam." I started. "He's marrying her. He's making the biggest mistake of his life. And I don't want to watch it happen. If he is marrying her, than I don't want to take part in it."

"Leah." he started. "You know I love how you are so opinioned. It's one of the reason why I fall in love with you. I don't exactly like Kim, but it's your brother. Let him make a mistake. He is a smart kid. He will figure it out. But it's not worth it to get into a fight over her. She is probably enjoying wrecking your relationship with Seth." Sam said softly.

"You see that's the thing." I said. "Seth is way too innocent. I don't think he would ever figure out in time until it is too late."

"No matter what your opinion is Leah, it's not worth loosing your brother over."

"I am not going to loose him, Sam. He wont marry a gold digger that is just after his money. I am not going to let her marry my brother because of his job and connections. He deserve happiness. I will make him see that. I want him to have what I have. I have you and Azusena and I am in heaven. I don't want him to spend the rest of his life being miserable making a mistake of marrying that devil."

Sam sighed. "Your always so stubborn." he said.

* * *

__

**Hey sorry for the long update. But please review. Press the green button and review. I really want to know what ya'll think about the chapter. I am beggin you, so review. **

**grr. yesterday protest at UCLA failed. They are raising tuiton :( it's really bad. **

**But other than that, I am going on break next week. I am so excited! Heading off to Miami. I might update a chapter before I leave on Wednesday, or I might update there, when I got down time there. Or maybe i will do it on the plane. I am so excited. Miami here I go. Hopefully there would be cute guys there and get alot of shopping done and a tan from the beach and hit the clubs. **

**and if I dont update, I will just say happy thanksgiving. **

**Review the chapter please. :) **

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	13. guilt

As I took a shower, all I can think about is the night I realize that I killed Reneseme. It has been a while since I thought about her or dreamt about that day. Since Royce showed up, all I think about is Renesemee.

I sighed as I used the bar soup to lather myself.

Why did he have to come back?

**(flashback)**

"_Royce." I said at school the next day when I saw the Cullen's sitting at their usual table. They were sitting there as usual in the table in the section usually where the high school kids sit in our school. Our school is a combination of both high school and middle school. We all go to school together, in one place. Pretty odd, I know. But only this time they sat with somber faces. I felt even worse knowing I caused it. _

"_What if they know?" I asked as we hold hands as we waited in the lunch lines. "What if they figured it out?" _

"_Know what? How would they know?" Royce asked. "Leah, there's no way that they can ever know that we accidentally killed Renesesme. There's no way it can be proven." _

"_I feel so bad." I whispered. "Royce, we killed her. We killed their adapted sister. I know they are all losers and all, but she's a person." _

"_I do too. I feel guilty as well." he said. "But it's nothing we can do. What can we do about it? We promised each other that nobody can know what happened last night." _

"_What if it was like the movie, I know what you did last summer? Or something close to it? What if Nessie came back from the grave and haunt us. What if she exposes us?" I asked. _

_Royce laughed. "Baby, you watch too much scary movies. Those things are only in the movies." _

"_I know it may seem so silly and far fetched. But I still feel guilty. We killed her. We ran her over and than we dumped her body." I whispered fiercely. "I have to live with that for the rest of my life. I have to live with myself for the rest of my life knowing I killed a girl. We killed someone, Royce." _

"_I do too." Royce whispered. "Baby I do too. But what can we do? You don't think I feel bad? Every time I close my eyes I see her. She haunted me in the shower last night. I nearly shit my pants." _

"_You saw her too?" I asked. "I had a dream last night. She came back from the grave. She walked up to me and exposed it to everyone that we killed her. She wrote murderer in the walls with her own blood. These things may be crazy and far fetched. But it's possible." _

"_What do you want to do?" Royce asked. "We live with it for the rest of our lives. Maybe one day we can forget it. Maybe one day it will just be one bad dream. One day she will fade from our minds. One day she will go away from our consciousness." _

"_When will that day be?" I asked. "When will it be the day that we can forget about what happened." _

"_I don't know." Royce said. _

_We walked a few inches up in the line. _

_Then Royce said, "Baby I am not hungry anymore. Let's go for some smokes." _

"_Yeah me neither." I said as I let Royce led me out. _

"_I got some baggies of weed for us to smoke." _

"_Sounds great." I said. _

_I need to get high to forget about all this shit. _

It was hard to forget about the day that I accidentally kill Nessie. Royce was right about one thing though, over time the image starts to fade away. Over time I started to forget about Nessie. Why the hell, did Royce have to go ruin everything. I wish I can forget.

* * *

**(Alternative universe)**

9:00 PM

"I love you Azusena." I whispered to my daughter. "I love you so much." I said giving her a kiss on the cheeks.

Looking at my beautiful daughter helped me think more clearly. I am beyond upset with my brother's marriage to Kim.

I know my brother deserves more than that gold digger that would go after my brother for his money. Once she is done robbing my brother she would look else where. My brother is amazing person. He is too soft and too innocent sometimes. This is why I protect him.

"I will never let anything hurt you." I whispered to my sleeping daughter. "I will never let anyone cause you pain, Azusena."

I kiss her on the cheeks again. I envied my daughter sometimes. I wish I can just hit the bed and sleep without stuff to think about.

"Night baby." I said as I left the room.

Sam was stuck at work. He is working late tonight. What the hell am I going to do now? I thought.

Just than my cell phone vibrated.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, honey." It was Sam.

"Hi." I said warmly.

"I just want to say that I love you and that I am thinking of you. I will be home in a bout an hour. I love you, beautiful."

I smiled.

"I love you too, honey." I said.

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Hey, ya'll. I am back. I know it has been months since the last update. Goodness, I realize now I havent updated since before thanksgving. lol. So please review and show me some love and I will try to update as soon as possible. :) So press the bubbly thingy and leave a review!


	14. reviews?

um people? wheres my reviews lol. Seriosuly I love that you added me and all. But please drop a comment. Please?


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